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Journal
November 12, 2000
I have been wanting to get here for a while now but there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day! I've been pretty tired lately too...and getting to bed early. Must be the weather and time change.
I'm doing my very best to stay on track these days while the numbers are not being so kind to me....again! It's pretty frustrating when you work so hard and your efforts don't show up on the scale like you expect them to......well, not for a while anyway. I know I had a big 4.4 loss a couple of weeks ago, but I had been deserving of that one for a while too! My logical side reminds me that I am still almost 4 pounds down for the past 6 weeks and I never forget how far i've come overall. I know that I am doing great with my eating....varying my points....trying new things....even baking! I am still running and loving it but have slowed down a bit with the weights now....only because I think that doing so will get the scale to move in the right direction! I know it doesn't seem to make much sense to do less, I do know what the weights do for me.....but for right now I need the numbers to go down...and ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
The interview in New York went great! They took some footage of me holding my 'old' clothes and I was asked alot of questions, like...'who i was and how much weight I had lost'.....'what I thought were some of the 'tools for success'....'what I would tell other people who were feeling as I once did'. This is really all such a part of me now that I didn't even have to think much about the answers. One of the questions was about 'how this has changed my life'. That one got a tad emotional :) I'm not quite sure how I can explain in words what this has done for my life....when 'life' is what it's given me.
I did spend time reading through some of my old journals on the trip down and that certainly brought back alot of memories and feelings that I am no longer forced to deal so much with anymore. I felt it was important for me to really remember because I saw this as such an opportunity to maybe reach somebody that was feeling many of the same things that I once did. Maybe a chance for them to see themselves.....through me.....and realize that they don't need to be perfect and that if they believe in themeselves enough and make themselves worth the effort to make changes to their lives.....they can do glorious things! This is an important part of all of this for me.
Mark and I met alot of great people and had a fun afternoon in NYC before our trip home. We went into a store and as I turned around, right in front of my eyes was a postcard of King Kong taking over the empire state building. If you've read through my 'Reason's Page' then you know about the King Kong ride at Universal Studios that I couldn't fit on. How appropriate that I find this postcard while in NYC to talk about my weight loss. So, I bought two of them...I gave one to Andrea and will share the other on the website as a 'Reflection' sometime soon. We also had a nice time out in Boston that night with my cousin who is a DJ for a big radio station there. I just adore her so it was an added plus to my special (birth)day! Needless to say, it was a looooooooong day! I kept thinking of how good it felt just to have the energy to get through a day like that now!
The camera crew was then in MA on the Monday following our trip to film me doing things like walking with Mark and running through the woods (of course it had to rain!..lol). This day was also my father's birthday and I made it even more special by wearing one of the old wind breakers my dad used to run in. They also shot me eating an apple and even stepping on and off a scale weighing myself ....yikes! This whole part of it felt silly to me but it was fun to do and I am eager to see how it all comes together!
This will start airing, on the Discovery Health Channel, in January, 2001. It will run all through next year as a one minute inspirational segment!
I will try to incorporate it into the website somehow once it starts running.
I promised to share some pics of our trip to NY and scanned in a few others we took the day of the additional footage.....you can find them all in the pictures section.
On Thanksgiving day this website will be 6 months old. I am still amazed at how much support I have recieved from people all over the world. The email and messages do alot for my motivation. It is a constant reminder of why this is so important and why it all feels so good. I am most pleased at those people who have mailed just to tell me that my jouney has inspired them to make healthier changes for their own lives....that it proves to them that this is possible for them as well. I feel so good knowing that I can have an impact like that on someones life...simply by sharing what i've learned.
Our forum is growing almost faster than I can keep up! New members are registering all the time. I can't say enough about the inspiration and support I get there each and every day. Even when I don't have time to post...it does me alot of good to just go in and read a bit. It sets me on track and keeps me there. It's amazing what surrounding yourself in support can do. Getting ideas and suggestions from the others as well as sharing ups and downs helps me alot. Just knowing i'm not alone helps. One of our members came up with the idea of the 'Too Big Box' forum. It's a place where we can pass on our old clothes with someone else who is losing weight and dropping many sizes...trust me when I say that this gets quite expensive and i'm so sure this will help many!
I am still learning all about how to manage the new domain and have many unfinished projects I would like to add soon. I am really hoping that this week coming up allows me more time to work on the website as it really does help me....and i'm sure all of you could use some changes too! ;-)
Until that scale starts falling again i'm looking at all of the other signs of my success. I've been trying on clothes I haven't worn in a while and seeing how differently they are fitting now. I am keeping a journal daily and trying new things to keep it fun and interesting. I'm doing everthing that it takes and believe that is the best that I can do.....so until next time....remember....
"The scale is NOT our only measure of success"
(the dam thing!...hehehe)
Kim
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