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Journal
August 10, 2000
Well, I am just so pleased to have lost another 2 pounds this week! I knew I had done well...journals been out! I've not exercised as much as usual but i'm still trying to take it a little easy on my leg. I called the doctor again today about it and now have an appointment with the orthapedist next Wednesday..should be tons of fun! :)
Our meeting was great tonight. We talked alot about 'falling off the path'.... and getting back on again. This is particually poignant to me right now as I got lost for a while there....hehehe...but, i've been right back on track for more than three months now...not one gain! I'm so proud of that fact!
I went through some of my old journals this week. It was interesting to see how I was feeling those first few weeks of weight watchers. Then when I reached 50 ..and 100...then 150 pounds off. I had forgotten how good it felt to get to those milestones! It was also good to read about how I was feeling when my father passed away and then when Gale moved. I didn't attend a meeting for four weeks at one point after that....and gained 10.4 pounds back that month! I learned my lesson and started attending regularly again....watching the scale continue to climb another 15 pounds was so tough...it certainly didn't help my emotional state at the time any! I had done so well and made many changes for the better. It's a scary feeling to feel out of control after losing so much... and doing so well. I would tell people how unmotivated I was feeling and kept hearing about how good I had already done...and should be so proud of myself. Well, I was proud....so proud that I didn't want to go back! I was well aware that I could put every pound back on alot easier than I took it off. But, I had learned enough to know that I could get back on track if I just stuck it out. Then Andrea gave me the best advice...she told me to listen to my own advice. I really did know what I needed to do...I just wasn't doing it.
I started to treat myself better, instead of worse. I began to tell myself what I would tell others coming to me with the same feelings. I got my books back out and read through them again. I put my journal right in front of my face and started keeping it religiously. I made small goals and rewarded myself for the efforts I was making. I filled my house with all the foods I knew I loved and that helped to keep me on track. I attended extra meetings to get additional support and found all of this help here online. I even started a website! lol :)
I have more motivation now than I did that very first week (and I lost 13 pounds that week!). I've always believed that I would get there. It's just alot easier knowing that I don't have to be so perfect to do it and that i've proved to myself that I can get back on that path if I just keep believing enough in me. Also, that whole maintenance thing is looking a tad easier now...hehehe. I guess the moral of my 'little story' here...is to never give up on yourself...one day...one week...hell, even a year...does not make or break your success!
The reward from Davey was a really nice surprise this week! While he was here....he saw my other magnets and asked where my 150 pound one was. I told him that they didn't have them so he made me one....and it even matches the others! It really means alot to me. It's silly...but it's another sign of my success and it's these little things that make the big things happen!
I've got alot of updates to make to the site this week. If you've not been to the message board here...go check it out. There are so many great people who come each day and help to keep each other motivated. I post there often!
Good luck to all of you this week! I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing!
Remember........It's the journey...not the destination!
Kim
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