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Reflections
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The Me I Used To Be.....
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Not too long ago our family spent the day in Boston.
I remember watching closely as this overweight woman pulled herself up this long, steep, set of stairs. When she got to the top she stumbled over to the side and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes and did her best to catch her breath. Her hand went to her chest...as if it were calming her pounding heart.
Her face was red and she was sweating. I knew just how she felt...
it made me want to hug her.
She was an attractive lady...very well dressed.
I found it hard to take my eyes from her as she walked out of the train station with her family. I could see her day before me. I could feel her aching joints and her swollen feet. I could sense her not being able to enjoy the things she loved because of her own lack of comfort. And I could see much of what should have been the joy of that day being taken away from her because of those extra pounds she carried.
I could see me.
I then remembered that I had just run up those same stairs and wasn't even breathing heavy. I was sure my energy would last into the night and so would my feet. I knew that I was in control of that day...and in the choices I made. I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment.....but at the same time it disturbed me knowing that I could relate to this woman so well....that I had been where she was not so long ago. It was all so familiar. It's scary knowing that I could be back there if I allowed myself to.
I thought alot that day about all of the things I don't have to pay as much attention to now. I climbed many sets of stairs and made it through turnstiles fine. I fit behind tables at restaurants with room to spare and walked for miles. I sat comfortably in any chair and I got the seatbelt to fit fine in the car. I was able to focus on the things that were really important because I wasn't distracted or limited....by myself.
I still think of her....she reminds me of the me I used to be.
She reminds me of just how far I have come...and of where I am going.
And she reminds me of all the reasons why I am never going back.
~ Kim
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