Before	Now

Making the Decision

I stood at a crossroads. I could either chose to continue on the path I was at or chose to turn the other way and walk towards a healthier path. Sure, it was easier to stay on the road I was at, but looking further down the road I knew there was nothing but a dead end. Literally speaking. I have a heart condition in which the heavier I got, the worse it would get. Aside from health issues, there was the fact that I definitely wanted to change my lifestyle into one that did not lead to a dead-end but rather to an open road where the choices could be limitless.

I was afraid, but the choice was clear. I have stood at the same crossroad before, and even though I had chosen to follow the path to well being, something or other along the way would turn me right back to the other direction. With the record of failures I have on my past, it was only natural for me to be afraid to fail once again. But it was time for me to forget about the choices made in the past and concentrate on the present choices that I needed to make. And the only choice for me was to live.

Having dieted before, I knew that it was going to be a hard, long journey, especially if I was to see it through to the end. I honestly hated to start a diet. I disliked to deprive myself of the things I enjoyed, like eating. I hated feeling hungry, or unsatisfied, the mood swings from reducing the daily calorie intake. I hated water, and I knew I would have to start drinking plenty of it. And worse yet, I am absolutely a sedentary person. Exercises for me were like the antichrist is to a christian.

Still, I found myself truly willing to take on that challenge. Once the decision was made, I did not come up with any excuses to postpone the process. I jumped right in, with a good face and a bright smile. The time to say "I will start it on monday" was over, and instead of concentrating on all the things I disliked about being on a diet, I focused on the rewards it would bring my way.

That was my choice.

When I made the decision of losing weight, I also made the decision to enjoy the process rather than suffer through it. I had the options of entering this challenge with the same old ideas of the past, or make it an enjoyable new adventure. No one really can function to the maximum of their abilities when doing something they dislike. No one wants to do something they find unpleasant. But I had the power to make the choice to enjoy the process and the efforts necessary to achieve my goal.

When making the decision, I was presented with choices. And the choices I made at the time have definitely paid off now. And although I am nowhere close to my goal yet, I know that the commitment I made to myself when I started this journey will certainly lead to that open highway of limitless choices I envisioned when I first understood that my life needed to change.

On October 31st, 2003 I began my journey with Weight Watchers in Bayamon, Puerto Rico. My starting weight was recorded at 302 pounds. Today, March 23, 2004, I am weighing 248 pounds with a total loss of 54 pounds so far. It will be a long journey, this I know. But I am certainly ready for this new challenge.

Always; Alannah