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Words of Wisdom
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Humor - Guaranteed Weight Loss
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New Weight Loss Program A fellow was ordered by his
doctor to lose 75 lbs., saying his weight could pose
very serious health risks.
As he wondered how in the
heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the
newspaper for GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed like hell," he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls
them up and subscribes to the
3-day/10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there is a knock at his door and when he
answers, there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, beautiful, 19-year-old babe dressed in
nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes, and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a
representative of the Weight Loss Company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have
me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her.
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally
catches her and has his way with her.
After they are
through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like
the way this company does business."
The same girl
shows up for the next two days and the same thing
happens.
On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted
to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
So, he calls
the company and orders from them their 5-day/20-lb. program.
As
expected, the next day there's a knock at
the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life,
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign
around her that reads,
"If you catch me, you can have
me."
He's out the door after her like a shot.
This
girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to
catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp
and wheeze.
She is by far the best he's ever had.
For the next 4
days, the same routine happens and much to his delight, on the 5th day
he weighs himself and found he
has lost another 20 lbs. as promised!!!!
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50
lb. program!!
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone.
"This is our most
rigorous program... "
"Absolutely," he replies.
"I haven't felt this good in
years."
The next day there's a knock at the door and
when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing
there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a
sign around his neck that reads,
"If I catch you, I
can have you."
hehehe
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